


Saturday Night's Alright

by gunslingaaahhh



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-01
Updated: 2011-07-01
Packaged: 2017-10-24 23:30:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/269120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gunslingaaahhh/pseuds/gunslingaaahhh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Had a chat with <span class="ljuser ljuser-name_fabulousweapon"><a href="http://fabulousweapon.livejournal.com/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://fabulousweapon.livejournal.com/"><b>fabulousweapon</b></a></span> about how potentially hilarious if Steve got into a bar fight trying to protect Danny's ~maidenly virtues.~ Or y'know, something like that.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Saturday Night's Alright

**Author's Note:**

> Had a chat with [](http://fabulousweapon.livejournal.com/profile)[**fabulousweapon**](http://fabulousweapon.livejournal.com/) about how potentially hilarious if Steve got into a bar fight trying to protect Danny's ~maidenly virtues.~ Or y'know, something like that.

A nurse walks by, muttering to herself about the two haole cops; one tall, dark, and handsome, the other loud and abrasive. Both with superficial injuries, both needing stitches and bandages and flashlights shined in their eyes.

Both a gigantic pain in his ass.

Sighing heavily, Chin glanced at his watch for the umpteenth time before slumping back in his chair, arms folded across his chest. It was all Steve's fault – as per usual – but that didn't mean he hadn't had an accomplice, oh no, Danny was almost just as much to blame for their current conditions, though he'd deny it until he was blue in the face. Reaching up to massage his temples with his fingertips, Chin closed his eyes and was greeted with images from earlier in the evening, before everything went to hell in a hand-basket.

~ _A few Hours Earlier_...~

“Boys' night out?” Chin said, skeptical.

“Yup! Not that I don't love you guys and our particular brand of crazy, but I've got girlfriends in town and I figured since I'd be out having a good time with the ladies, you guys should go out, too.” Kono had sounded just a little too innocent, a little too sweet.

Chin frowned slightly, leaning away from the maniacal glint in his cousin's eye. There was no reasoning with her when she got like this, though; resistance was futile. She'd already mentioned it to Steve, who was in love with the idea instantly, and where Steve went Danny was never far behind, usually grumbling. On good conscience, Chin couldn't let Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum out without supervision, so right there he knew he was stuck. Sighing, shoulders slumping a little, he conceded, Kono cackling evilly like a wicked witch from a Disney movie.

The boys' night had been scheduled for Saturday night, and at eight on the nose Chin heard the honking of the horn from Steve's truck. He looked himself over in the mirror, whispered a prayer of safety, and made his way out of his house, keys clutched tightly in his fist. Danny was sitting shot-gun – of course – and Steve was bouncing gleefully to some too-loud bass, bawdy rap lyrics echoing out of the windows.

“So, uh, where are we going, exactly?” Chin asked once the music was turned down enough for the other two to hear him. Danny twisted around in his seat and made a face, rolling his eyes as Steve excitedly listed all the bars he wanted to hit.

“Of course this animal wants to go bar hopping,” Danny grumbled, punching Steve in the shoulder. “Like he isn't gonna be too shitfaced to drive after the first stop.”

“Not a light-weight like you, Danno,” Steve replied, grinning. This of course set Danny off on a rant, and Steve just ignored him, turning up the music slightly. Chin sank lower into his seat and gripped his keys like grim death.

~*~

The first two places they hit weren't really party central, which was great for Chin but boring for Steve. Danny just wanted beer and lots of it, and really, it was easier to just get liquor in them early on, as far as Chin was concerned. Then maybe they'd be too drunk to take out and he could drive everyone home, safe and sound, no injuries or death or explosions.

Oh, if only.

Danny was no light-weight, and Chin had to admit he was impressed; the shorter man could put it away. Steve wasn't interested in beer, though, he wanted tequila, and right then and there Chin knew they were all doomed. See, in his time as a cop, he'd learned that certain types of booze created certain types of drunks, depending on the person. For some, whiskey got them going; for others, a little vodka was all it took. For Steve, though, it was tequila and a whole lot of it.

A few shots made him loose and goofy, which Chin didn't mind, but a lot of it made him cocky and over-confident – not that he had any reason not to be, Navy SEAL and all – which were a bad combination when drinking alongside the great unwashed. The last thing they needed was for someone to look at Steve the wrong way, or bump into him, or some other stupid thing that would provoke him into getting into a scuffle.

The third bar turned out to the the charm... or rather, the one place they just shouldn't have gone. As soon as they walked in, Chin felt ill at ease, the feeling not helped by Steve's I'm-drunk-but-I-could-still-kick-your-ass-ten-ways-to-Sunday swagger and Danny's never-ending chin-jawing. They ended up at a table, sort of out of the way, and before Chin had a chance to dissuade them, a bottle of tequila and three shot glasses were on the table.

“Let's do this,” Danny slurred, eyes bright from the alcohol, a slight flush on his cheeks. He poured the shots, giggling a little when some of the liquid sloshed over the sides. He and Steve raised their glasses, both looking at Chin expectantly. Resigned to his fate, Chin took up his glass and they all did a shot, grimacing as the liquid went down.

Steve and Danny continued to do shots and Chin kept an eye on their surroundings. It wasn't one of the smaller local places, but it wasn't a tourist trap, either. The atmosphere put it right in the middle, full of a variety of people, all drinking and laughing and dancing. There was a pretty sweet jukebox in the corner, and Chin whistled appreciatively; it was no doubt a collector's item, and probably the jewel of the establishment.

Which is why Danny decided to harbor a personal vendetta against it when he meandered over and discovered the machine contained none of his favorite songs or bands. Steve was only halfway over to him, and Chin was still sitting at the table, but he could hear – and see – Danny's frustration, arms waving and hair standing about his head in a blonde halo. Sipping his water, Chin laughed to himself a little before noticing that Danny wasn't just haranguing the juke now, he was talking to someone. Sitting up in his chair more, Chin leaned this way and that, trying to see; it wasn't Steve, Steve had ended up at the bar. Frowning, Chin had gotten up from the table to go over and make sure Danny wasn't causing trouble when he heard it, a loud crash and a louder shout, echoing in the sudden hushed silence of the bar.

Danny was standing with his fists raised, listing from side to side a little. There was a man on the ground at his feet, middle-aged, loud shirt and khaki shorts. He was rubbing his jaw and staring up at Danny with a look close to wonder. Forcing his way over, Chin took a knee to check on the guy, who was fine, before standing and grabbing Danny by the elbow and dragging him towards the restroom.

“What the hell was that?” he demanded, arms folded across his chest.

Danny regarded him blearily, squinting. “Guy was trying to pick me up, man! Like, what, I'm available or something?”

“Uh,” Chin started, eyebrow quirking. “Aren't you? Last I heard you weren't seeing anyone...”

“Oh, so you think I like guys now?” Danny practically shouted, arms pinioning around him. Chin took a step back to avoid being whacked, hands up in supplication.

“I didn't say that, I'm only saying that he took you for single and wanted to take a chance; that's no reason to knock him out.”

“Yeah, well, no thanks,” Danny grumbled. “And hey, what the fuck is Steve doing?”

Chin froze, panic skewering ice-cold through his belly. He turned slowly, a low moan coming up from his throat. Steve was in the middle of the bar, nose inches from the nose of another man, one almost as tall as him but far bulkier. They were arguing, fingers pointed here and there, voices raised.

“This, ok, this is bad. We need to go, brah,” Chin whispered harshly, grabbing Danny's arm and digging his fingertips into the other man's flesh with a vice grip. “Steve is gonna mess that guy up and then we'll be screwed.”

As they approached, Chin caught more of what was being said and winced when he felt Danny stiffen beside him. They were arguing about him, Steve smugly informing the other guy that Danny was not, in fact, available, and if he had a problem with that Steve would kindly spell it out for him.

Which was Steve-speak for “would you like a free trip to the hospital.”

Danny chose this moment to butt in, putting himself between Steve and the other guy, forcing the other guy to back up slightly. He was glaring at Steve, finger jabbed into the taller man's chest.

“What's the matter with you, huh? You think I can't handle myself? I handled that other guy, I can handle this.” He turned on his heel and poked the other guy in the chest as well, giving him the stink eye. “And you! Am I wearing a neon sign that says 'please hit on me, fellas, I love the cock'? Because last I checked that wasn't the case, so back off!”

The other guy's jaw tightened, Chin could see the cords in his neck begin to stand out; this was getting worse by the second, he needed to do something. Taking a deep breath, he grabbed both Steve and Danny by the arms and pulled them back, inserting himself in front of the other guy instead.

“Hey, listen, this is all just a big misunderstanding, ok? They're drunk and a little touched, you know, they don't know what they're saying. If you don't mind, I'm going to get them out of here--”

“Dunno what they're sayin'? Then the little one is too drunk to know whether or not he wants any of this,” the other guy rumbled, grinning.

Chin gaped at him, and he was sure if Kono had been there she'd be taking pictures of him like a crazy person. But really, he had every right; this guy wasn't getting the hint, and Steve was getting more belligerent behind him.

“I don't think you understood me the first time, so let me break this down for you,” Chin said, voice cold and even. He composed his features into a stony mask and stepped into the other guy's space, glaring at him. “Danny is his name, and he is not interested, nor will he be interested, in you or any one else in this establishment. My advice to you would be to let us go, or else you're going to end up tangling with one crazy motherfucker.”

The guy started to laugh, quickly caught the look on Chin's face and stopped. “I wasn't referring to me, either,” Chin added, jerking a thumb over his shoulder. “My buddy Steve here will do just like he said. And neither of us want or need that.”

The other guy seemed to be seeing reason, and Chin sighed with relief. It was short lived, unfortunately, because Danny chose that precise moment to decide that he wasn't going to be the damsel in distress. He decided this by launching himself at the other guy, a fist solidly connecting with the man's face.

The ensuing melee was like something out of a movie. Steve was drunk, but even drunk he moved with all the grace of a dancer, people dropping around him like flies. Chin had managed to get his arms around Danny's chest and haul him back and towards the door, the other man kicking and screaming the entire way.

“Steve! Steve, we need to go, now!” Chin shouted, his voice unheard over the din. He watched with shock when suddenly one of the waitresses appeared in the middle of the brawl, striding angrily towards Steve, who was in the process of putting a patron in a sleeper-hold.

She was all of five feet, maybe a hundred pounds soaking wet, and Chin grimaced as she walked right up to Steve, afraid she'd be unwittingly knocked down. He needn't have worried, though; the woman reached out and tapped Steve on the shoulder, which caused him to turn towards her. He blinked at her for a minute, confused, before slowly grinning that idiot grin of his. The woman grinned back at him, before cocking her arm, hauling back, and punching Steve squarely in the face.

The silence that followed was deafening, even Danny was ominously quiet.

Looking over the crowd, the waitress brushed her hands over her apron and flitted her fingers over her hair, giving Steve a dirty look while he rolled around on the floor, holding his face.

“You, you, and you – out! Out right now before I decide to get your information and sue you for public drunkenness!” she shouted, pointing at Steve, Danny, and Chin in turn. Propping Danny against the door, Chin hurried over and grabbed Steve under the arms, hoisting him and dragging him towards the door.

Chin somehow managed to get Steve's keys away from him before getting the truck and bringing it around, jaw clenched as he bundled Steve and Danny into the backseat. Both of them were roughed up considerably, but Steve seemed to have had his nose broken by the waitress, if the swelling and blood were any indication. Thumping the steering wheel and asking himself why, _why_ this was his life, he put the truck in gear and drove them to the ER.

To add insult to injury, it was morning by the time the doctor was willing to let him take the two chuckle heads home, both looking sheepish and like they'd gotten into a fight with a bus. Escorting them out to the truck, he turned and held up a hand for them to pause. Steve and Danny exchanged looks before staring at Chin, who had his phone out and aimed at them. He took pictures of them with grim satisfaction, saving and emailing all of them to Kono, who would probably laugh herself sick.

Once in the truck, Chin sent her one last message before putting the truck in gear and driving off.

“ _Never again_. You want a boys' night? _Yo_ _u_ can take them.”  



End file.
